Banovelmouth, Chapter 8: Love

Chapter Eight: Love


            After our little session of frolicking under the bed sheets, Diane fell asleep in the bed.  I got out of the bed, and I was a little worried that Satellite Ears or Regina would come home and discover Diane in the bed, so I decided to wake her up.  I brought a small portable radio into the bedroom and blasted the rock station.


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Banovelmouth, Chapter 7: Attraction

Chapter Seven: Attraction


            When I got home from work that Saturday, I got a phone call from Not a blue woman.

            “I’m going to be having my party tonight,” said Not a blue woman.  “It will start fairly soon.  Can you come to it?”

            “Yes, I can!” I said.  “I look forward to it!”

            “Can you ask Satellite Ears and Regina if they’d like to come too?” said Not a blue woman.

            “Sure, I’ll go do that,” I said.  “Hold on a second.”  I put the phone down and asked Satellite Ears and Regina if they would like to come.  Satellite Ears said that he could come, and Regina said that she would like to come, but that she’d better stay home and take care of Nora.

            I returned to the phone.  “Satellite Ears can come, but Regina has to stay home,” I told Not a blue woman.

            “Okay,” said Not a blue woman.  “I haven’t invited anyone else to the party just yet.  You’re the first one I phoned.  If you and Satellite Ears head out right now, you’ll probably be the first party guests to arrive.”

            “Who else will you be inviting?” I asked.

            “I’m not quite sure yet,” said Not a blue woman.

            “Okay.  Satellite Ears and I will go over there right now,” I said.  “I’ll see you very soon, then.”

            “See you soon,” said Not a blue woman.


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Banovelmouth, Chapter Six: Satellite Ears's House

Chapter Six: Satellite Ears’s house


            Somehow, time seemed to go by quickly after Satellite Ears and Regina had had their baby.  I continued working away at my job as a high school science teacher.  It seemed to become less and less fun as the time went by, but I was kept so busy and I had so much to do that time went by quickly anyway.  In addition to actually teaching the students, cleaning out the lab, and grading students’ assignments, I had to work on the kids’ report cards, help students with their work when they didn’t understand it, and go to meetings at school.  I did not have much time off.  My days off were usually spent studying cleaning and cooking in the hopes of being able to eventually stop working as a science teacher so I could get a better job.

            On one of my days off, I was in the middle of studying cleaning, when I got a phone call from Regina.

            “Hi, Regina!” I said to her.  “Gee, I’ve been so busy lately that I haven’t gotten the chance to talk to you and Satellite Ears in such a long time.  How is everything going with you guys?”

            “Everything is going well, though it can be frustrating at times,” said Regina.  “Both me and Satellite Ears are out working for part of the day, so we hired a nanny, and we’re not so sure that she’s taking care of our baby very well.”

            “Oh no!”  I said.  “Yeah, I heard that Not a blue woman has had some trouble with nannies.  He fired one for peeing on the floor.”

            “Oh no!” said Regina.  “Now I think I know what those puddles on the floor are when I come home!  Eww, that’s so gross!  And all this time I thought it was the baby doing that.  I guess I was wrong about that.  Anyway, how have you been?”

            “I’ve been really busy lately,” I said.  “Being a high school teacher can be annoying.  Especially since a lot of the students don’t seem to want to learn about science.”

            “Aww, that’s too bad,” said Regina.  “Oh, I have to go now, the baby wants something.”

            “Good luck with little Nora,” I said.

            “Thanks,” said Regina.  “Bye.”

            “See you later, Regina.”



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Banovelmouth, chapter 5: Alone (Part Two)

A few days after Satellite Ears and Regina got married, I got a phone call from Not a blue woman.  He invited me over to his house.  I accepted his invitation, and walked over there.

            I rang the doorbell, and Valerie answered the door.

            “Hi, Bananamouth!” said Valerie.  “It’s nice to see you again!  Come on in!”

            I entered the house.  “It’s nice to see you too, Valerie,” I said.  “You and Not a blue woman must be very busy with Reuil.”

            “Oh, we sure are,” said Valerie.  “We hardly get any sleep anymore.  But it’s all worth it!”

            “I guess you can hire nannies to babysit for you sometimes,” I said.

            “We’ve done that a couple of times,” said Valerie.  “But the other day, our nanny peed on the floor!  So we fired her.”


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Banovelmouth, chapter 5: Alone (Part One)

Chapter Five: Alone

            Regina had been living with us for a week.  She didn’t complain about our house, but she did not seem to be enjoying life all that much, for some reason that I couldn’t figure out.  I decided to talk to Satellite Ears about it.

            “Satellite Ears,” I said to him, “It’s really nice having Regina live with us, but somehow she doesn’t seem to be too happy here.  Perhaps you could talk to her about it.”

            “Yes, I know,” sighed Satellite Ears.  “I just hope that I’m not the reason that she’s unhappy!”

            “Oh, I don’t think so,” I said.  “She does seem to like you a lot.  But maybe you should just talk to her.”

            “Okay, I will,” said Satellite Ears.  “I’ll talk to her sometime soon.  I worry about her.”

            Later on that day, I was sitting on the couch reading the cleaning chapters in a cookbook, when Satellite Ears came into the living room.

            “Bananamouth,” he said, “I just had a little chat with Regina.  She says that we have a very nice house, but it feels a little bit cramped to her, like there’s not enough room in it for all of us.”

            “Oh, I see,” I said.  “But we had three people here before when you and I and Not a blue woman all lived here.”

            Satellite Ears said, “I guess that our house is just kind of smaller or more cramped than what she’s used to.  She used to live alone, in a house the size of our house or bigger.”

            “I understand,” I said.  “Is there something we can do about it?”

            Regina suggested that she and I move to a new house,” said Satellite Ears.  “She has a fairly high-paying job, so I think we could afford it.  And if we moved to a new house, we could get out the DJ machine from storage, and put it in our house!”

            “Ooh, that sounds like fun,” I said.

            “Would you mind if we moved?” Satellite Ears asked.  “You would be left all alone here by yourself.”

            “I don’t think I’d really mind much,” I said.  “I might get a bit lonely sometimes, but if I do, I could always invite someone over or phone someone or find something to do by myself.  So if you two want to move out and find your own place, go ahead.”



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Banovelmouth, chapter 4: Girlfriends (Part Two)

I arrived at home just before Satellite Ears left for his paramedic job.  I told him briefly about Not a blue woman and Valerie and baby Reuil.

            “That’s super!” he said.  “I can’t wait to see the new baby!  It’s too bad I have hardly any free time.”

            “It’s too bad that the baby’s too young to be brought over here,” I said.  “Oh well, I’m sure you’ll be able to find some free time sometime soon to go visit them.  I sure hope so, anyway.”

            Satellite Ears’s carpool ambulance pulled up just then, and he got in and went to work.



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Banovelmouth, chapter 4: Girlfriends (Part One)

I have evidence that someone is actually reading this novel, so I'm posting Chapter 4!
It will be posted in 2 parts.

Chapter Four: Girlfriends

Satellite Ears and I were sitting outside on our front lawn one morning, in some new wooden red lounge chairs that we had just bought.  It had been a few days since Not a blue woman and Valerie had moved out of our house.

            “I think we should get something for our lawn besides the ketchup sculpture,” said Satellite Ears.  “Maybe a gnome or something.”

            “If we’re putting decorations on our lawn, maybe we can get some pink plastic flamingoes instead,” I said.  “I read in the newspaper that gnome thefts have been going up lately.”


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I got bored with posting the novel, and I doubt anyone will read it anyway, so I won't post the rest of it.

Banovelmouth, chapter 3

Chapter Three: Not a blue woman's friend

One night I was sitting on the couch and reading a book at about 1 in the morning, when Not a blue woman came home from work.  He walked in the door with a good-looking black lady who was wearing a black-and-white striped criminal suit and a black cap.

“Hi, Bananamouth,” said Not a blue woman.  “This is Valerie Custer, my friend and criminal accomplice from work.”


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